My Thoughts...

I didn’t write here yesterday but I was feeling way better, back to my usual schedule (although I’m still procrastinating on my summer project)

Aug 7

I guess you could say that I’m in the depressive side of bipolar disorder at the moment… And to be honest, I haven’t been on the depressive side in a while. I have had mania for a while and I even thought that I wasn’t going to be down this soon but I guess that I thought wrong. Usually when I’m depressed I just don’t feel like doing the things that I usually would enjoy but now it’s kind of different, at least for tonight. I don’t feel good about myself tonight and that’s something that barley ever happens because I tend to set my ego very high in order not to be brought down. I feel worthless and I don’t like feeling this way. I’ll type more later but for now I think I’ll just read something or listen to music.

Aug 5
Feeling down

From now on I’ll be tagging my personal things (like things that are going on with my life, etc) as #personal so if you don’t really care and if you don’t want to read about my life then it’ll be easier to just skip reading once you see the tag. The other things won’t be tagged so you’ll know. :)

Jul 20
Just letting you know..

A problem that a lot of people have is that they judge others because others don’t have the same beliefs that they have. This is one reason why for now, I don’t really pay attention to religion. I don’t really pay attention to it because a lot of people from different religions judge one another and I’m not saying anything bad about religion but I do find that kind of rude because if you’re in a religion then why should you judge others? If you go to church and then see someone walking around in the streets that has baggy clothes and maybe a lot of tattoos what would you do? Would you judge? A lot of people would answer yes to that question because they think that people that are in religions shouldn’t have many piercings or have tattoos (not all religions but some do suggest this) and I think that’s really wrong because shouldn’t religion say something about judging as well? Shouldn’t people know that it’s not right to judge others just by their appearance?

If someone talks bad about religion then people automatically assume that they’re a bad person just because they don’t believe in some things that their religion might say but that’s completely wrong. 

A phrase that is very well known is “don’t judge someone unless you’ve walked a mile in their shoes” well guess what, no. Don’t judge someone even if you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. Sometimes you may think that you know someone really well but most likely you don’t know the person at all. Just like on TV shows, there’s someone who you might hate a lot and you might think that the character is horrible but then you end up finding out that the character is actually not so bad and that they just have a rough past. (ex. Damon from the vampire diaries and almost every character from orange is the new black) 

The point of this is, never judge anyone and don’t judge their opinions. Just because you don’t agree doesn’t mean that you have to tell them that they’re wrong because sometimes they might not be wrong. 

I might write about this again later in the future because I know that I’ve forgotten more things to say. I find this topic something that more people should talk about. 

Jul 19

I used to be so nice and sweet when I was little. Then I started becoming heartless and not caring about what anyone thought (well that’s at least what people thought but in reality I cared so much) I used to stay away at night and practically beg myself to become nicer. I don’t really know what I am right now but I can honestly say that I don’t mind being rude. I don’t want to be nice because being nice doesn’t really get people anywhere. I don’t want to be weak or stepped on but at the same time I don’t want people to think that I don’t care because that’s the complete opposite.

Jul 17

Okay so now the posts are going to be from the present and not past. I just wanted to post those few things from my journal because I thought they would give a little insight.

Jul 17
Back to current day…

I know that I have found the right career because my heart thrives to learn more information about the career that I have chosen. My heart burns for new information and I have daily cravings on finding out new things about my career that excite me and make me want more. I get frustrated but in a good way because there is so much to learn and I just want to learn it all and memorize every single detail without leaving anything out. I want to figure out new theories that no one has ever thought of before. I want to be the best that I can be and when I think of myself being the best, the first thing that comes to mind is being the best psychologist possible.

Jul 17
April 13, 2014 (1:11 AM)

I sometimes ask people what their favorite song is at the moment. That song can define how the person is feeling, the persons current mood or attitude, and even the persons attitude that others don’t see- the one that they hide away and only they know about. Everyone has that special song that means a lot to them but not everyone knows why it means so much to them. Some may be lucky to say that they know why a song means so much to then while others just think that they really like the song but in reality, they’re completely wrong. A song can reflect on the persons mood and feelings and I find that amusing because just by listening to the lyrics of that persons favorite song of the moment- you can already hear and feel a connection.

The song that I will ALWAYS consider one of my favorites is Paradise by Coldplay. I like this song so much because it’s about a girl who drifts off in her daydreaming and she gets stuck in her own paradise. She’s too stuck in the paradise that she has in her head that she’s too busy to come back to reality so when she closed her eyes- she drifted off and went into paradise. This is what I do. I go into daydreaming and I do expect the world (just like the girl in this song. It says that the girl expected the world and so do I and I feel as if my hopes are too high) but when the girl closes her eyes she daydreams of everything that she could ever want in the world and that is exactly what I do. I daydream and get too caught up in the paradise that I don’t even notice that I’m not living in the present. That I’m not living in reality. This is why this song means so much to me- because it has an emotional connection- not just because it’s good, because it is, but also because of the meaning.

Another amazing song is What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts. This song has made me cry before as well as Paradise. I really like this song because it’s basically saying how what hurts the most is that the two people were so close and that one person still has things to say but they can’t anymore. They won’t ever know how ‘it could have been’ or anything. I think this song could be about a heartbreak or someone close to you passing away. When I hear this song I think of my grandfather because he passed away but I always think about the things that I could have done and said.
There are other more amazing songs and maybe I’ll write about them in the future.

Jul 17
April 11, 2014 (11:42 PM)

Today my mom told me that she is happy that I found a career that I love and that I’m happy about. She told me that it’s good to have a job that pays well but what’s better is to have a job that pays well but makes you happy as well. I’m happy not only because I found the career that I want to do for the rest of my life, but I’m also happy because she’s happy. I’ve been wanting for her to tell me that because all I’ve ever wanted was for her career approval and now that I’ve got it; I couldn’t be any happier.

Jul 17
April 10, 2014 (12:29 AM)

Everyone wants to be something when they grow up. Some people may have higher dreams than others but that doesn’t mean that the other persons dream isn’t as valuable. You may be raised to believe that you will be a nurse but when you start growing up you may not want to be a nurse anymore. Sometimes people want something so bad that they don’t think about the consequences or the little things, they just want something so bad and that’s all that they can think about. You can’t tell them not to think about it or not to do what they want to do because they will still believe that it’s what they should do. Once the person gets what they want, they may become disappointed because it may be harder than what they expected or it may not be as good as what they thought it was going to be. That doesn’t matter because as life goes on, people will want other things and then there will come a time in life when you will know what you want. You will get what you want and you will love it. It may or may not take a while but it will be worth the wait. Don’t listen to what others tell you, do what you think is best for yourself.

Jul 17
April 3, 2014 (10:38 PM)